Some Key Elements to Social Skills Awareness:
1 ) Get to know your natural communication style...what is your typical way of communication?
2) Get to know the key elements of communication styles in general
3) Develop observational skills so that you notice the natural communication syles of those with whom you are communicating.
4) Develop the skills to be able to choose to adapt your communication style to compliment the styles and situations at hand for building rappore, understanding, and effectiveness.
More to follow...
Notice Now
Friday, August 29, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Self Care...Creating and Mainting Your Focus
Focus
As you get the three parts of the Self Care systems more in to place (as mentioned in the 3 previous posts) they will all aid in creating and maintaining your focus. As you know, each of these areas help support and overlap with the other areas. Some strategies to remember and utilize in supporting your focus generally include…keeping the things you want to focus on during a particular time and while in a particular space (such as at your desk) may include making things highly visible. For example, drawings, photos or other items that help remind you what you want to be doing at a particular time may be useful. On the other hand, removing things that may distract you or tempt you from getting off your focus may be good to notice so that you can remove them from sight. For example, if you have your default home page or web browser set on a search engine or on your web mail page or some other place that may pull your attention, consider keeping your web browser closed and/or setting your screen saver to go to a blank or black page so there is no distraction. Rather than having your email program download your emails every 10 minutes, have them download your email once an hour or three times a day. If you have ongoing projects with which you are collaborating with others on, and you need to know when your team members send you information on your current projects of the day, perhaps you can create project subtitles so you may check for those emails every hour without getting sidetracked on someone else’s’ agenda.
Another strategy is as much as possible, do your reading/studying for work or school in the same location(s) each day…always use the same room at home or the same area at the library, for example. You may wish to use the same time of day for certain tasks…notice what parts of the day is best for your to read or study and what times you do best to do tasks that require more moving around. Be creative and know that you may do better to read while standing or to read for 15 minutes and take a 2 minute walk and come back to reading. Notice when and how you are at your best, and use the options available to you with that in mind.
Here is to more success,
Robb
As you get the three parts of the Self Care systems more in to place (as mentioned in the 3 previous posts) they will all aid in creating and maintaining your focus. As you know, each of these areas help support and overlap with the other areas. Some strategies to remember and utilize in supporting your focus generally include…keeping the things you want to focus on during a particular time and while in a particular space (such as at your desk) may include making things highly visible. For example, drawings, photos or other items that help remind you what you want to be doing at a particular time may be useful. On the other hand, removing things that may distract you or tempt you from getting off your focus may be good to notice so that you can remove them from sight. For example, if you have your default home page or web browser set on a search engine or on your web mail page or some other place that may pull your attention, consider keeping your web browser closed and/or setting your screen saver to go to a blank or black page so there is no distraction. Rather than having your email program download your emails every 10 minutes, have them download your email once an hour or three times a day. If you have ongoing projects with which you are collaborating with others on, and you need to know when your team members send you information on your current projects of the day, perhaps you can create project subtitles so you may check for those emails every hour without getting sidetracked on someone else’s’ agenda.
Another strategy is as much as possible, do your reading/studying for work or school in the same location(s) each day…always use the same room at home or the same area at the library, for example. You may wish to use the same time of day for certain tasks…notice what parts of the day is best for your to read or study and what times you do best to do tasks that require more moving around. Be creative and know that you may do better to read while standing or to read for 15 minutes and take a 2 minute walk and come back to reading. Notice when and how you are at your best, and use the options available to you with that in mind.
Here is to more success,
Robb
Friday, August 15, 2008
Self Care...Managing Information
Self Care…Managing Information…
There are a number of ways to start Managing Information in more effective ways. A part of the solution may be to further utilize your day planner. One thing is rather than making simple to do list, put each task in an actual time slot on your day planner. Make sure to allow time for and travel to or from, for gathering tools or information needed, for putting away tools and information and for leaving short notes as to what you have done and what the next steps are so when you come back to the task you can scan your notes and get up to speed quickly. Another way for managing information may be to set up hard copy files and electronic files so that they mirror each other. That is, use the same type of organizational structure (names, sub fields and so forth) so you can more quickly and easily navigate your files. Next, ask yourself what value or benefit you get for tracking and storing the information you have? Have you and are you getting value from tracking the storing the information? Is it worth the time, energy, money it has and is costing you? What if you let go of tracking or storing that piece or information? Could you quickly and easily find it on the Internet if needed?
Sometimes, paper systems are still best, when we consider the cost in money for electronic gadgets, software, set up time, system crashes, lost data…sometimes a paper rolodex may do the job better for us than an electronic solution. However, if you know technology and can quickly and easily trouble shoot any problems or you have someone who does that for you…you may prefer to go the electronic route. Just make sure you have the information you need to keep your life running and growing effectively …in the direction you wish.
To Your Success,
Robb
There are a number of ways to start Managing Information in more effective ways. A part of the solution may be to further utilize your day planner. One thing is rather than making simple to do list, put each task in an actual time slot on your day planner. Make sure to allow time for and travel to or from, for gathering tools or information needed, for putting away tools and information and for leaving short notes as to what you have done and what the next steps are so when you come back to the task you can scan your notes and get up to speed quickly. Another way for managing information may be to set up hard copy files and electronic files so that they mirror each other. That is, use the same type of organizational structure (names, sub fields and so forth) so you can more quickly and easily navigate your files. Next, ask yourself what value or benefit you get for tracking and storing the information you have? Have you and are you getting value from tracking the storing the information? Is it worth the time, energy, money it has and is costing you? What if you let go of tracking or storing that piece or information? Could you quickly and easily find it on the Internet if needed?
Sometimes, paper systems are still best, when we consider the cost in money for electronic gadgets, software, set up time, system crashes, lost data…sometimes a paper rolodex may do the job better for us than an electronic solution. However, if you know technology and can quickly and easily trouble shoot any problems or you have someone who does that for you…you may prefer to go the electronic route. Just make sure you have the information you need to keep your life running and growing effectively …in the direction you wish.
To Your Success,
Robb
Friday, August 8, 2008
Self Care -- Managing Things / Stuff
Continuing from the previous post…lets explore managing Things / Stuff.
Some first steps to managing Things / Stuff may be different. A great rule is a place for everything and everything in its place. Wherever you are, it generally is best to improve upon this goal in very small steps at a time. For example, rather that starting with an entire room, or if you have accumulated lots of stuff, rather than starting with your entire desk, perhaps start with a one inch stake from one of the piles on your desk. It is great to get support for these tasks. Sometimes just having someone who will be supportive and be there with you as you do all the work, is all you need to get started and to complete small steps at a time. Sometimes you need someone to talk out what you want to do and how you will do it. It is all fine if you want to get an ADD / ADHD Coach or an ADD / ADHD to actively help with the task. Do whatever you need to do to get started. If you schedule time to clear out some things and find after two attempts, you are not making progress, that is an indication that it is time for you to ask for support. It may be best to start small, yet start where there will be a big positive impact on your life right away…such things may include finding a place for items you use multiple times a day, so that you can immediately get benefit from your efforts. Leave organizing things that may be for reference or that you may use less than once a month for later after you get the things you use daily or weekly handled first. Remember, we are shooting for what works good enough, and we are not aiming for perfection.
Some first steps to managing Things / Stuff may be different. A great rule is a place for everything and everything in its place. Wherever you are, it generally is best to improve upon this goal in very small steps at a time. For example, rather that starting with an entire room, or if you have accumulated lots of stuff, rather than starting with your entire desk, perhaps start with a one inch stake from one of the piles on your desk. It is great to get support for these tasks. Sometimes just having someone who will be supportive and be there with you as you do all the work, is all you need to get started and to complete small steps at a time. Sometimes you need someone to talk out what you want to do and how you will do it. It is all fine if you want to get an ADD / ADHD Coach or an ADD / ADHD to actively help with the task. Do whatever you need to do to get started. If you schedule time to clear out some things and find after two attempts, you are not making progress, that is an indication that it is time for you to ask for support. It may be best to start small, yet start where there will be a big positive impact on your life right away…such things may include finding a place for items you use multiple times a day, so that you can immediately get benefit from your efforts. Leave organizing things that may be for reference or that you may use less than once a month for later after you get the things you use daily or weekly handled first. Remember, we are shooting for what works good enough, and we are not aiming for perfection.
Friday, August 1, 2008
What is Self Care...?
What is Self Care...? It is different things to different people. Self Care for those with ADD / ADHD would include things that may not be as important to those without those challenges.
Self Care for those with ADD / ADHD ought to include things to cover these categories:
Outside support and structure for managing:
Time
Information
Things/Stuff
Focus
It is often a good strategy to organize oneself and life in such a way that one can use outside things to track and handle time, information, things, and your focus; as much as possible. Using these strategies are not a sign of weakness rather they are a sign of working smart and strategically. Organizing one's life in this way allows one to focus more on what is most important and fun.
Time -- When it comes to managing time, there are some good places to start. One place is look for whatever routines one has in place and notice what is working for you and what is not working for you. Keep the ones that work, tweaking as needed, discard the others and replace them with new ones. For example, pick a sequence of tasks to do for getting ready for the day, pick an order for them, and stick with it. Do the same for getting ready for bed. If one's life and work allow, pick wake up times and bed times and stay with them. From there, build out to scheduling appointments, tasks and to do's. Depending on your life, habits and way of functioning, you may want to start out using a paper planner and plan out a day or week at a time. Select a time at the beginning of the day to review what is coming and some time at the end of the work day or evening to review the day you just had. I prefer to plan at least a day ahead at a minimum...even off days. I do best if ,at least, the day before I plan so when I wake the next day, a plan for work or fun is already in place. If I wake without a plan for a work day, I am typically disappointed at the end of the day in how I spent the day or in what I accomplished. If I awoke with a plan in place, I have a better chance of being more productive and feeling better about my day, at days end. Even if it is a play day, I often feel more satisfied at the end of the day, if it were a day that I had already planned at least the day before.
This month we will look at how to get started in the other categories of Self Care...Managing Stuff, Managing Information and Your Focus...
Self Care for those with ADD / ADHD ought to include things to cover these categories:
Outside support and structure for managing:
Time
Information
Things/Stuff
Focus
It is often a good strategy to organize oneself and life in such a way that one can use outside things to track and handle time, information, things, and your focus; as much as possible. Using these strategies are not a sign of weakness rather they are a sign of working smart and strategically. Organizing one's life in this way allows one to focus more on what is most important and fun.
Time -- When it comes to managing time, there are some good places to start. One place is look for whatever routines one has in place and notice what is working for you and what is not working for you. Keep the ones that work, tweaking as needed, discard the others and replace them with new ones. For example, pick a sequence of tasks to do for getting ready for the day, pick an order for them, and stick with it. Do the same for getting ready for bed. If one's life and work allow, pick wake up times and bed times and stay with them. From there, build out to scheduling appointments, tasks and to do's. Depending on your life, habits and way of functioning, you may want to start out using a paper planner and plan out a day or week at a time. Select a time at the beginning of the day to review what is coming and some time at the end of the work day or evening to review the day you just had. I prefer to plan at least a day ahead at a minimum...even off days. I do best if ,at least, the day before I plan so when I wake the next day, a plan for work or fun is already in place. If I wake without a plan for a work day, I am typically disappointed at the end of the day in how I spent the day or in what I accomplished. If I awoke with a plan in place, I have a better chance of being more productive and feeling better about my day, at days end. Even if it is a play day, I often feel more satisfied at the end of the day, if it were a day that I had already planned at least the day before.
This month we will look at how to get started in the other categories of Self Care...Managing Stuff, Managing Information and Your Focus...
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