Common ADD Struggle #1 – Values
There is a common misperception about values. ADD or not our world believes values are something that we chose or decide upon through life. There are theories that our deepest values are inherent, we are born with them and they are part of our soul. While it is hard for everyone to keep their values foremost in their minds, for someone with ADD it is 10 times harder to keep focused on ones values while making decisions. That is because those with ADD tend to notice many more possible values of which to consider.
It is a constant struggle for those with ADD to keep their values constantly present. I was recently asked what do you do to get these values first and foremost in a client’s mind. While there isn’t an answer that is constant for all, there are processes we can go through to help.
It begins with soul searching, noticing behaviors and getting feedback from friends and family. From there, it is advised to have guidance from a few sources to work through discovering your individual values. There are assessment tools used in the discovery phase followed by reflection of how your life’s energy is used in relation to the values discovered and finally integrating these values into your day to day life. Through constant thought processes, each individual along with their trusted advisors, can turn values thinking into a habit that will enhance your skills and awareness levels.
While this is a complex topic and each individual is unique, if you have a curious and provocative coach guiding you through discovery you will find a values based life awaits.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
12 Common ADD Challenges
After over a decade of coaching ADD/ADHD clients, I have found 12 challenges to be the most common.
1. Values - Lack of clarity to what is important and how to connect those values to choices about work, friendships, relationships, education and other parts of life.
2. Inner Motivation - Lack of understanding of what really motivates oneself.
3. The Big Goal(s) - Keeping the focus of the big goals in place on a daily basis.
4. Time -Remembering appointments and deadlines.
5. Project Completion - Challenges ending or starting tasks.
6. Stuff - Clients are buried in piles of papers, books, files, tools or other items.
7. Information- Clients may be trying to track too much information.
8. Social Cues and Social Skills -talking too much, interrupting, saying inappropriate things, etc
9. Perfectionism - Working to get things to the impossible level of perfect, rather than getting things done or getting things done well enough.
10. Getting Started - Blocking points that can occur from sequencing to knowledge that hinder the start of a project.
11. Transitions -Include the stages between stopping one task and starting another.
12. Impulsiveness - Making effective choices despite impulsivity.
It is important for us to remember that just as we would not tell someone who requires glasses to see properly, to just put away the glasses and try harder. We should not to expect someone with an invisible disability to "try harder" on tasks. I have laid out these tasks because often it is what the world sees as the "simple" stuff that gets in the way of individuals with ADHD keeping them from having full, satisfying lives. Over the next few months we will take some time on each of these 12 challenges, diving a little deeper in each round of blog entries. I hope you can come along on this journey.
Coach Robb
1. Values - Lack of clarity to what is important and how to connect those values to choices about work, friendships, relationships, education and other parts of life.
2. Inner Motivation - Lack of understanding of what really motivates oneself.
3. The Big Goal(s) - Keeping the focus of the big goals in place on a daily basis.
4. Time -Remembering appointments and deadlines.
5. Project Completion - Challenges ending or starting tasks.
6. Stuff - Clients are buried in piles of papers, books, files, tools or other items.
7. Information- Clients may be trying to track too much information.
8. Social Cues and Social Skills -talking too much, interrupting, saying inappropriate things, etc
9. Perfectionism - Working to get things to the impossible level of perfect, rather than getting things done or getting things done well enough.
10. Getting Started - Blocking points that can occur from sequencing to knowledge that hinder the start of a project.
11. Transitions -Include the stages between stopping one task and starting another.
12. Impulsiveness - Making effective choices despite impulsivity.
It is important for us to remember that just as we would not tell someone who requires glasses to see properly, to just put away the glasses and try harder. We should not to expect someone with an invisible disability to "try harder" on tasks. I have laid out these tasks because often it is what the world sees as the "simple" stuff that gets in the way of individuals with ADHD keeping them from having full, satisfying lives. Over the next few months we will take some time on each of these 12 challenges, diving a little deeper in each round of blog entries. I hope you can come along on this journey.
Coach Robb
Friday, March 6, 2009
Willingness to Think Differently
As much as parents want to do what is “right” for their children, there is one key ingredient to successful coaching for anyone. The client needs to have a willingness to try something different. This is a key element to create a satisfying and effective life. At times teens show up with this attitude or they can develop it after trust is established in the coaching relationship.
As an ADD coach, I have experienced many parents calling me to explain situations where their child can’t get their homework done, has trouble focusing and/or retaining information. Their studies are falling behind. Sometimes the parent may want to know if I can help; how long will it take. In coaching, the teen would be the one who determines the teen’s goals, and what the agenda of the coaching will be. That is one of the most powerful things about coaching, the client drives the agenda.
First and foremost a client needs to develop a true mindset of change so they can achieve their dreams. In the world of ADD, there must be a restored sense of self esteem and a grounded sense of confidence that is created over time. This confidence builds as the client takes on more, possibly larger, tasks and creates a history of successful learning. Every client is different so the plan developed is unique. It is this co-creation between client and coach that will lead to success.
As an ADD coach, I have experienced many parents calling me to explain situations where their child can’t get their homework done, has trouble focusing and/or retaining information. Their studies are falling behind. Sometimes the parent may want to know if I can help; how long will it take. In coaching, the teen would be the one who determines the teen’s goals, and what the agenda of the coaching will be. That is one of the most powerful things about coaching, the client drives the agenda.
First and foremost a client needs to develop a true mindset of change so they can achieve their dreams. In the world of ADD, there must be a restored sense of self esteem and a grounded sense of confidence that is created over time. This confidence builds as the client takes on more, possibly larger, tasks and creates a history of successful learning. Every client is different so the plan developed is unique. It is this co-creation between client and coach that will lead to success.
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