Getting Started, January 1, 2010
Getting started on projects is particularly difficult for those with ADD. The feeling of being pulled in many directions sometimes keeps one from starting projects. One solution may be to find a trusted friend or professional that is supportive. It is important that you feel good about yourself in the presence of this person. This person needs to be someone who is advocating for you. This person should be someone who will speak to you with clear thoughts and that you respect.
I find that discussing the project and all the aspects with someone starts to put perspective on the size and scope of the project. It will help to explore with your friend what is difficult and holding you back from starting the project. You may ask; Is it that you don’t know what to do first? Is it that you know what to do but don’t know how to accomplish it? Or is it that you know what to do and how to do it but the entire project seems overwhelming? You and your friend can work on a plan for breaking the project into smaller pieces, working on one section at a time to get the entire project completed. When you sequence out the steps, a state of overwhelm may become one of clarity and focus. The project may become doable in a shorter time frame than originally thought.
There may be other obstacles that you could discuss with your friend however you may need additional professional help. Questions you may ask; Are you feeling depressed? Are you eating correctly including proteins, fruits and vegetables? Are you moving your body throughout the day? If you find your answers need more help than your friend can provide this may be the time to seek help from your general practitioner.
Whatever the project is, often talking through the steps and the obstacles with someone you trust is extremely helpful. Once you have a plan, you will start and complete your project, increase your confidence and feel better about yourself.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Perfectionism
Perfectionism
As I have stated before, perfectionism is a concept. We as humans can only imagine perfection, what it is and how to achieve it. However, this is a flat illusion. We have no idea what true perfectionism is, but we know it is a coveted concept that many strive to achieve.
When we think of the “perfect world,” each of us has an image. This image is defined by the clarity of our values and the amount of time, energy and money we have to develop this illusion. When we take these items into consideration what we come up with is our “good enough” for the moment. We make decisions on our perfectionism by analyzing our resources and comparing them to the results we desire.
For instance, once we have the question determined that we need to resolve. We then analyze the outcome by penalty vs. benefit. What is the penalty for not completing the task at all? Do I have the resources to complete this task? What is the penalty for giving 50%, 80%, 90% to the task? What negative effect will this decision have on me, my family, my friends or my employer? On the other side, what is the benefit of doing this task? Will there be a future benefit? What is the benefit of completing this task with 50%, 80% or 90% effort? Depending on resources, will this help with getting a raise, promotion or savings of resources? How will completing this task benefit me, my family, my friends or my employer?
Each of us has our own “perfect world” scenario.
We have individual values, benefits and penalties that we associate with each task. In the end we must answer the questions; what is the penalty for not making it perfect? And what is the reward for making it perfect? Then when we put the answers up against our values and resources we can make an informed decision about each task.
As I have stated before, perfectionism is a concept. We as humans can only imagine perfection, what it is and how to achieve it. However, this is a flat illusion. We have no idea what true perfectionism is, but we know it is a coveted concept that many strive to achieve.
When we think of the “perfect world,” each of us has an image. This image is defined by the clarity of our values and the amount of time, energy and money we have to develop this illusion. When we take these items into consideration what we come up with is our “good enough” for the moment. We make decisions on our perfectionism by analyzing our resources and comparing them to the results we desire.
For instance, once we have the question determined that we need to resolve. We then analyze the outcome by penalty vs. benefit. What is the penalty for not completing the task at all? Do I have the resources to complete this task? What is the penalty for giving 50%, 80%, 90% to the task? What negative effect will this decision have on me, my family, my friends or my employer? On the other side, what is the benefit of doing this task? Will there be a future benefit? What is the benefit of completing this task with 50%, 80% or 90% effort? Depending on resources, will this help with getting a raise, promotion or savings of resources? How will completing this task benefit me, my family, my friends or my employer?
Each of us has our own “perfect world” scenario.
We have individual values, benefits and penalties that we associate with each task. In the end we must answer the questions; what is the penalty for not making it perfect? And what is the reward for making it perfect? Then when we put the answers up against our values and resources we can make an informed decision about each task.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Managing Information # 2
Managing Information...part 2
Mail, that is that from the U.S. Post Office, is one thing wherein you often receive much information that you did not ask to receive. What to do with all of this information? One good strategy I learned from a friend works like this. Go to your mailbox, pull out all the mail. Then go to a dumpster or trash can that is outside (before ever going into your home) and throw away the stuff that you do not need. Do not even bring it into the house! After which you are only bringing necessary or needed mail into the house. Now, what do you do with this influx of information?
You can have a sorting tray so you can have pre-selected categories such as bills to pay, action needed, file. You then may set aside a time once a week when you go through the mail, write the checks, check any statements for accuracy, take actions needed such as completing forms, making calls, writing notes and sending out mail.
On the other hand, you may prefer to handle the mail every day as it is picked up. In this case you can select a time of day when you will pick up the mail, sort it out over the trash can, sort it by category in trays and act on it all at the same time.
I suggest handling, sorting and acting on mail no less than at least once per week. If possible once a day may be a good way to start and get control of your mail.
If one is ever behind on the mail, the first step is to start handling the mail that comes in today, today. Keep that a priority and only go back to old mail after the mail of the day is handled. As mail goes, with reminders and such, typically within 30 - 45 days of handling what comes in daily as it comes in, one is caught up with at least 95% of the mail. Then, when there is time and energy to devote to old, unprocessed mail, set aside time to go through this stack of mail.
Whenever going back in time to catch up on mail, go from today, backward to yesterday and so forth. In other words sort the most recent mail first. The key here is establishing and follow a new habit of what comes in today is looked at first. You should look first for payments to YOU and bills to pay as these are most important. As a second round back, perhaps if you notice something important, something unusual or something you do not recognize, handle those next. Finally, go through the rest of the mail over the trash can throwing out everything you possibly can.
It is hard to find many exceptions, although there are some, to handling first the information coming in today, establishing that habit today forward...whether it is postal mail, email, phone calls, voice mail, fax, notes and papers on the desk or floor. Remember our motto, most recent first.
If it is hard to get started remember to ask someone who gives you good support to be in the home with you while you work, someone with whom you feel comfortable, supported and not judged negatively.
Get your new systems, strategies and routines started today to handle today’s information!
Mail, that is that from the U.S. Post Office, is one thing wherein you often receive much information that you did not ask to receive. What to do with all of this information? One good strategy I learned from a friend works like this. Go to your mailbox, pull out all the mail. Then go to a dumpster or trash can that is outside (before ever going into your home) and throw away the stuff that you do not need. Do not even bring it into the house! After which you are only bringing necessary or needed mail into the house. Now, what do you do with this influx of information?
You can have a sorting tray so you can have pre-selected categories such as bills to pay, action needed, file. You then may set aside a time once a week when you go through the mail, write the checks, check any statements for accuracy, take actions needed such as completing forms, making calls, writing notes and sending out mail.
On the other hand, you may prefer to handle the mail every day as it is picked up. In this case you can select a time of day when you will pick up the mail, sort it out over the trash can, sort it by category in trays and act on it all at the same time.
I suggest handling, sorting and acting on mail no less than at least once per week. If possible once a day may be a good way to start and get control of your mail.
If one is ever behind on the mail, the first step is to start handling the mail that comes in today, today. Keep that a priority and only go back to old mail after the mail of the day is handled. As mail goes, with reminders and such, typically within 30 - 45 days of handling what comes in daily as it comes in, one is caught up with at least 95% of the mail. Then, when there is time and energy to devote to old, unprocessed mail, set aside time to go through this stack of mail.
Whenever going back in time to catch up on mail, go from today, backward to yesterday and so forth. In other words sort the most recent mail first. The key here is establishing and follow a new habit of what comes in today is looked at first. You should look first for payments to YOU and bills to pay as these are most important. As a second round back, perhaps if you notice something important, something unusual or something you do not recognize, handle those next. Finally, go through the rest of the mail over the trash can throwing out everything you possibly can.
It is hard to find many exceptions, although there are some, to handling first the information coming in today, establishing that habit today forward...whether it is postal mail, email, phone calls, voice mail, fax, notes and papers on the desk or floor. Remember our motto, most recent first.
If it is hard to get started remember to ask someone who gives you good support to be in the home with you while you work, someone with whom you feel comfortable, supported and not judged negatively.
Get your new systems, strategies and routines started today to handle today’s information!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Time Management Part 2
Time Management Part 2
There are a couple of systems and strategies or “tricks and tools” I use for time management that may be useful to you.
One thing is that I prefer to have time pieces (watches and clocks) that have an hour and minute and second hand on them. There is something about those time places that gives the sense of time passing to me…deep into my bones that a digital/numerical clock does not.
Next, and more importantly for me, is the use of day planners that allow me to have monthly views. I prefer to visually see at least one month laid out at a time, however often at least 3 months laid out in advance is extremely helpful. I have some large laminated calendars in my office that show the big stuff, or stuff I must remember such as travel departure date, return dates, and place, key meetings that may happen once a month or less (so that I remember them). That way, when I am planning for workshops, coaching calls or additional travel, I can see what space is available for further planning. I can also get a sense of what type of rhythm is forming and working for me in my schedule. I tend to plan my schedule in chunks of a month at a time for the big stuff, review a week out on Sunday evenings, and the next day coming the evening before.
I also use a calendar I can access on line (via the internet) that is viewable by day, week or monthly formats. It is easy to schedule recurring coaching calls and other recurring activities with the ability make adjustments quickly. It does not give me as large of a view as I like to have sometimes, that is why I still duplicate some of the events in my internet calendar on my wall calendar.
If time seems elusive to you, experiment with these tools: a clock and watch with hour, minute and second hands, a large wall calendar with at least a 2 month view, and a paper or electronic day planner that is easy for you to see at least a one week and one month view. Be sure to first place key activities; such as work, class, health & wellness appointments, and any key thing; such as grocery shopping, that you want to make sure get done on the calendar. Then, with whatever time may be left, add the other stuff. It is essential that you schedule time for fun and social interaction for your own peace of mind, sense of well being, and to regroup for the rest of life.
There are a couple of systems and strategies or “tricks and tools” I use for time management that may be useful to you.
One thing is that I prefer to have time pieces (watches and clocks) that have an hour and minute and second hand on them. There is something about those time places that gives the sense of time passing to me…deep into my bones that a digital/numerical clock does not.
Next, and more importantly for me, is the use of day planners that allow me to have monthly views. I prefer to visually see at least one month laid out at a time, however often at least 3 months laid out in advance is extremely helpful. I have some large laminated calendars in my office that show the big stuff, or stuff I must remember such as travel departure date, return dates, and place, key meetings that may happen once a month or less (so that I remember them). That way, when I am planning for workshops, coaching calls or additional travel, I can see what space is available for further planning. I can also get a sense of what type of rhythm is forming and working for me in my schedule. I tend to plan my schedule in chunks of a month at a time for the big stuff, review a week out on Sunday evenings, and the next day coming the evening before.
I also use a calendar I can access on line (via the internet) that is viewable by day, week or monthly formats. It is easy to schedule recurring coaching calls and other recurring activities with the ability make adjustments quickly. It does not give me as large of a view as I like to have sometimes, that is why I still duplicate some of the events in my internet calendar on my wall calendar.
If time seems elusive to you, experiment with these tools: a clock and watch with hour, minute and second hands, a large wall calendar with at least a 2 month view, and a paper or electronic day planner that is easy for you to see at least a one week and one month view. Be sure to first place key activities; such as work, class, health & wellness appointments, and any key thing; such as grocery shopping, that you want to make sure get done on the calendar. Then, with whatever time may be left, add the other stuff. It is essential that you schedule time for fun and social interaction for your own peace of mind, sense of well being, and to regroup for the rest of life.
Monday, August 10, 2009
The Big Goal
The Big Goals Part 2
Just as we alluded to in the Big Goals original posting, when you state your goals in the SMART way, you have a scientific approach to achieving your goals. However there is the artistic side of setting a big goal that needs to be incorporated into the process. The artistic portion has to do with your inner motivation and personal values. It answers the question what do you want? by achieving this Big Goal.
In our previous example, we had set the goal of reading for one hour per day five days per week. In this example we didn’t specify; What do you want to read? Why do you want to read? What will you gain from this reading? So we set the SMART goal however we didn’t address the artistic side of the Big Goal. There are a wide variety of book genre’s to look at, fiction, self-help, finance, technology and leadership, just to name a few. Now comes the hard part, you will need to set the specific books you would like to read. You will choose five (5) books that would top your list and set the Big Goal to read them. Since we don’t know how fast we will read the books, we can’t specify an end date. However, our goal is one hour per day for five days per week, therefore we have set aside the time to complete the goal. We aren’t setting an end date on this goal so we can work until we achieve it and that will be fast enough. We have amended our goal to: I want to read these five (5) books for an hour a day for five (5) days per week. We are incorporating the artistic and SMART processes together to get our amended Big Goal.
Remember there is a difference between personal big goals and work big goals. In the work environment, there are many deadlines and rigidness to the goals at hand. While we can still incorporate the SMART and artistic goal setting process, we must remember that deadlines at work must be met and accommodate for these.
For both work and personal goals, the main thing to remember is to break it down into small pieces (an hour 5 days per week) and celebrate your small successes. When you think about Big Goals in this manner it will keep you focused and relieve some of the overwhelming stresses that usually coincide with Big Goals. It’s okay to enjoy the work to achieve success and its okay to leave a little thirsty for more every day. A great way to think of a Big Goal is that it is just a bunch of small goals sequenced together to achieve success.
Just as we alluded to in the Big Goals original posting, when you state your goals in the SMART way, you have a scientific approach to achieving your goals. However there is the artistic side of setting a big goal that needs to be incorporated into the process. The artistic portion has to do with your inner motivation and personal values. It answers the question what do you want? by achieving this Big Goal.
In our previous example, we had set the goal of reading for one hour per day five days per week. In this example we didn’t specify; What do you want to read? Why do you want to read? What will you gain from this reading? So we set the SMART goal however we didn’t address the artistic side of the Big Goal. There are a wide variety of book genre’s to look at, fiction, self-help, finance, technology and leadership, just to name a few. Now comes the hard part, you will need to set the specific books you would like to read. You will choose five (5) books that would top your list and set the Big Goal to read them. Since we don’t know how fast we will read the books, we can’t specify an end date. However, our goal is one hour per day for five days per week, therefore we have set aside the time to complete the goal. We aren’t setting an end date on this goal so we can work until we achieve it and that will be fast enough. We have amended our goal to: I want to read these five (5) books for an hour a day for five (5) days per week. We are incorporating the artistic and SMART processes together to get our amended Big Goal.
Remember there is a difference between personal big goals and work big goals. In the work environment, there are many deadlines and rigidness to the goals at hand. While we can still incorporate the SMART and artistic goal setting process, we must remember that deadlines at work must be met and accommodate for these.
For both work and personal goals, the main thing to remember is to break it down into small pieces (an hour 5 days per week) and celebrate your small successes. When you think about Big Goals in this manner it will keep you focused and relieve some of the overwhelming stresses that usually coincide with Big Goals. It’s okay to enjoy the work to achieve success and its okay to leave a little thirsty for more every day. A great way to think of a Big Goal is that it is just a bunch of small goals sequenced together to achieve success.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Inner Motivation, Part 2
Inner Motivation, Part 2
What is important to you? What makes your heart sing? What makes the time go by quickly? These are the tasks that you do that utilize your Inner Motivation. When we are absorbed in a task and the time flies by this is usually a task that motivates you. These tasks are followed by feelings of satisfaction, heartwarming pleasure, peacefulness, joyfulness and happiness. Intrinsically, these tasks are somehow deeply important to us so when we complete them we feel great.
The challenge this week is to notice the tasks you complete. Some will be fulfilling and some won’t be fulfilling. The goal is to notice the tasks that you get lost in doing and bring a smile to your face at the end of the day. These are the tasks that motivate you from the inside and are easy for you to complete. If you have tasks that don’t give you that feeling of satisfaction, our future goal will be to change how the tasks are completed or figure out how to delegate them to someone who will be motivated by them. However, this week we are just noticing the tasks and how we are motivated to complete them.
What is important to you? What makes your heart sing? What makes the time go by quickly? These are the tasks that you do that utilize your Inner Motivation. When we are absorbed in a task and the time flies by this is usually a task that motivates you. These tasks are followed by feelings of satisfaction, heartwarming pleasure, peacefulness, joyfulness and happiness. Intrinsically, these tasks are somehow deeply important to us so when we complete them we feel great.
The challenge this week is to notice the tasks you complete. Some will be fulfilling and some won’t be fulfilling. The goal is to notice the tasks that you get lost in doing and bring a smile to your face at the end of the day. These are the tasks that motivate you from the inside and are easy for you to complete. If you have tasks that don’t give you that feeling of satisfaction, our future goal will be to change how the tasks are completed or figure out how to delegate them to someone who will be motivated by them. However, this week we are just noticing the tasks and how we are motivated to complete them.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Values...Living them
Values
When we think of values, we begin to think broadly. I value God, Earth, Sun, Moon and/or Family. All of these are great values but when we want to see how our values are impacting our current lives, we need to look a little closer to the heart. Our goal is to make choices in our lives that will help you to live with values at the top of mind. It doesn’t matter what your values are, the question we need to answer is ~ Are we living our lives honoring our values?
Taking what we now know about ourselves and what is important to us, we need to put our thoughts on paper. As you re-read blog entries, notes you have made and tests you have taken; think about what resonates with you in each of these settings. It may be relationships, knowledge, innovation, appreciation, friendship, love or something completely different. You may find words or phrases that continually come up, just make a note of these. They may lead to some of your value words. We will all have values unique to us and that is perfectly normal. Once you have identified your value statements or words, spend a month noticing what values “show up” in your life and what values are missing. This will give you the foundation for improving your life.
When you think about identifying your values, remember they don’t have to be the big guns. For instance some of my value words are connection, innovation and appreciation. Taking innovation for me this means constantly improving things. I feel satisfied when there are improvements, both large and small. This is an important value for me. Our goal with this exercise is to find out what is important for you.
Go after your discovery process and if you need help, work with someone that can give you clarity and organization around your values and how you use them in your life.
Additionally, we have recorded our working session for this blog entry. You may listen at:
When we think of values, we begin to think broadly. I value God, Earth, Sun, Moon and/or Family. All of these are great values but when we want to see how our values are impacting our current lives, we need to look a little closer to the heart. Our goal is to make choices in our lives that will help you to live with values at the top of mind. It doesn’t matter what your values are, the question we need to answer is ~ Are we living our lives honoring our values?
Taking what we now know about ourselves and what is important to us, we need to put our thoughts on paper. As you re-read blog entries, notes you have made and tests you have taken; think about what resonates with you in each of these settings. It may be relationships, knowledge, innovation, appreciation, friendship, love or something completely different. You may find words or phrases that continually come up, just make a note of these. They may lead to some of your value words. We will all have values unique to us and that is perfectly normal. Once you have identified your value statements or words, spend a month noticing what values “show up” in your life and what values are missing. This will give you the foundation for improving your life.
When you think about identifying your values, remember they don’t have to be the big guns. For instance some of my value words are connection, innovation and appreciation. Taking innovation for me this means constantly improving things. I feel satisfied when there are improvements, both large and small. This is an important value for me. Our goal with this exercise is to find out what is important for you.
Go after your discovery process and if you need help, work with someone that can give you clarity and organization around your values and how you use them in your life.
Additionally, we have recorded our working session for this blog entry. You may listen at:
Friday, July 17, 2009
Transitions (from one task to another)
Transitions – the ability to stop one task and start another task
If you think transitions are a challenge for you, then it’s time to put on the detective hat and ask some deep and specific questions to achieve resolution.
Are you having trouble stopping the task you are currently working?
Are you having trouble putting away the items in an organized fashion?
Can you find the items you were recently working with when called to do so?
Is your desk cleared and organized enough to work effectively?
Do you notice the time that has elapsed while working on a project? Can you break away if needed?
Have you decided when to stop the project (before beginning each work session)?
Is it that you have trouble starting the next task? Is this unique or always a challenge to start the next task?
Are you overwhelmed with starting the next task, after clearing your desk from the original task?
Do you have trouble transitioning from one project to another of the same type, or is it to projects of a different type?
Planning will help to execute your projects and maintain transitions. You may notice that you don’t decide before starting a project the duration of time you will commit to working on the project. One solution may be a timer to help to queue the brain that the time allotment for this phase of the project is coming to an end. You can set the timer for 15 minutes prior to ending the project for the day; this will allow the brain to start winding down. You can begin to clear your head, make notes on where you are in the project and put it away for another day. Next you can allow yourself 15 – 20 minutes to move, walk around, go get the mail, grab something to eat and get ready for the next task at hand. Often the brain requires some time between one task to another. This time can also be spent with some quick movement of the body…pushups, sit-ups, jumping, skipping… Sometimes music helps or some breath exercises or just a few examples.
Here is a story that illustrates some points: This weekend, one of my “Life Make – Over Clients go together. We cleaned her garage. This was a large task that she and I undertook in the summer heat. We decided before going out to the garage that we would spend one hour on the project before transitioning into a break. We decided our total time today would be two hours of work and then we were done. We set the alarm on her cell phone for 60 minutes and started in one corner. When the alarm went off, we transitioned into break and lunch. After cooling down for two hours, we were able to transition back into work mode and spend another hour cleaning and organizing. At the end of this time, the project was completed and we worked within our time constraints. We were able to start the project with specific time set, we took breaks to clear our minds and nourish our bodies, we cleaned up the tools we used and completed the projected within the specified time frame. If we hadn’t completed the project after our time limit of two hours, we would have put away the tools and set another date to complete the project. The key here wasn’t to complete the project, it was to get started, transition to a break, stop at the allotted time and know that progress was made.
Your first line of detective work is to notice where the problem begins, realizing it could be at more than one point in a project. When thinking about transitions it’s finding out about your work habits and where the bottlenecks in the processes lie. Once you find the bottleneck, you will be on your way to discovering strategies and solutions.
If you think transitions are a challenge for you, then it’s time to put on the detective hat and ask some deep and specific questions to achieve resolution.
Are you having trouble stopping the task you are currently working?
Are you having trouble putting away the items in an organized fashion?
Can you find the items you were recently working with when called to do so?
Is your desk cleared and organized enough to work effectively?
Do you notice the time that has elapsed while working on a project? Can you break away if needed?
Have you decided when to stop the project (before beginning each work session)?
Is it that you have trouble starting the next task? Is this unique or always a challenge to start the next task?
Are you overwhelmed with starting the next task, after clearing your desk from the original task?
Do you have trouble transitioning from one project to another of the same type, or is it to projects of a different type?
Planning will help to execute your projects and maintain transitions. You may notice that you don’t decide before starting a project the duration of time you will commit to working on the project. One solution may be a timer to help to queue the brain that the time allotment for this phase of the project is coming to an end. You can set the timer for 15 minutes prior to ending the project for the day; this will allow the brain to start winding down. You can begin to clear your head, make notes on where you are in the project and put it away for another day. Next you can allow yourself 15 – 20 minutes to move, walk around, go get the mail, grab something to eat and get ready for the next task at hand. Often the brain requires some time between one task to another. This time can also be spent with some quick movement of the body…pushups, sit-ups, jumping, skipping… Sometimes music helps or some breath exercises or just a few examples.
Here is a story that illustrates some points: This weekend, one of my “Life Make – Over Clients go together. We cleaned her garage. This was a large task that she and I undertook in the summer heat. We decided before going out to the garage that we would spend one hour on the project before transitioning into a break. We decided our total time today would be two hours of work and then we were done. We set the alarm on her cell phone for 60 minutes and started in one corner. When the alarm went off, we transitioned into break and lunch. After cooling down for two hours, we were able to transition back into work mode and spend another hour cleaning and organizing. At the end of this time, the project was completed and we worked within our time constraints. We were able to start the project with specific time set, we took breaks to clear our minds and nourish our bodies, we cleaned up the tools we used and completed the projected within the specified time frame. If we hadn’t completed the project after our time limit of two hours, we would have put away the tools and set another date to complete the project. The key here wasn’t to complete the project, it was to get started, transition to a break, stop at the allotted time and know that progress was made.
Your first line of detective work is to notice where the problem begins, realizing it could be at more than one point in a project. When thinking about transitions it’s finding out about your work habits and where the bottlenecks in the processes lie. Once you find the bottleneck, you will be on your way to discovering strategies and solutions.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Getting Started
Getting Started on Projects
Getting started on a project might mean many different things to different people. Pick a simple project and pay attention to the different parts of a project so we can tell what part might be tripping us up or comes easily.
For example, the project has become I’m going to read an hour a day 5 days a week Monday through Friday and I’m going to keep that up until I finish this 6 book series. Already the simple project is decided –a certain amount of time and books until the project is completed. Now to decide when we are going to do that reading; based on my other responsibilities and schedule, I’m going to read from 6:30 – 7:30 pm Monday through Friday, immediately after dinner.
What stopped me from this project before is that I would eat then either to engage in TV or became too tired. It was a wish but never became a goal, never with a plan. When I decided this is really important to me, I also put together a back-up plan. My back-up plan is that I will read from 10:30 – 11:30 before my midnight, so that if anything interferes with the first time frame. On Saturday mornings I will check my daily planner weekly and review. If it’s more than 3 times missed then I will change my reading time to 7:30 – 8:30 am so that I will incur the least amount of interruptions.
It becomes easier to get started on the project with the end result in mind. Also with the back-up and secondary plans already set, if the original project plan becomes cumbersome moving to the alternative plan will be simple. We are also holding ourselves accountable with our Saturday check in. You may find it easier to check in with a trusted friend to ensure completion of the project.
I will know when the project is done when the series is over and I am willing to keep going until it’s finished. Since the project is so well defined I can evaluate weekly and not base it upon pages read. This will keep me on task.
Part of the process is:
1) Define the project, what and time allowed?
2) Obtain the tools necessary for project completion – check out of library or purchase, reading glasses, timer
3) Space to do tasks ~ lights, chairs, background music/noise
4) On calendar so I commit to doing task
5) Assuming I have a day planning system that I use.
6) Do you need to let anyone know that you are busy at this time?
7) Do you need someone to ask you about your goal weekly to stay on task? Is there someone that you would like to meet with and read at the same time? Important to eliminate distractions while you are setting apart time for this task.
Getting started on a project might mean many different things to different people. Pick a simple project and pay attention to the different parts of a project so we can tell what part might be tripping us up or comes easily.
For example, the project has become I’m going to read an hour a day 5 days a week Monday through Friday and I’m going to keep that up until I finish this 6 book series. Already the simple project is decided –a certain amount of time and books until the project is completed. Now to decide when we are going to do that reading; based on my other responsibilities and schedule, I’m going to read from 6:30 – 7:30 pm Monday through Friday, immediately after dinner.
What stopped me from this project before is that I would eat then either to engage in TV or became too tired. It was a wish but never became a goal, never with a plan. When I decided this is really important to me, I also put together a back-up plan. My back-up plan is that I will read from 10:30 – 11:30 before my midnight, so that if anything interferes with the first time frame. On Saturday mornings I will check my daily planner weekly and review. If it’s more than 3 times missed then I will change my reading time to 7:30 – 8:30 am so that I will incur the least amount of interruptions.
It becomes easier to get started on the project with the end result in mind. Also with the back-up and secondary plans already set, if the original project plan becomes cumbersome moving to the alternative plan will be simple. We are also holding ourselves accountable with our Saturday check in. You may find it easier to check in with a trusted friend to ensure completion of the project.
I will know when the project is done when the series is over and I am willing to keep going until it’s finished. Since the project is so well defined I can evaluate weekly and not base it upon pages read. This will keep me on task.
Part of the process is:
1) Define the project, what and time allowed?
2) Obtain the tools necessary for project completion – check out of library or purchase, reading glasses, timer
3) Space to do tasks ~ lights, chairs, background music/noise
4) On calendar so I commit to doing task
5) Assuming I have a day planning system that I use.
6) Do you need to let anyone know that you are busy at this time?
7) Do you need someone to ask you about your goal weekly to stay on task? Is there someone that you would like to meet with and read at the same time? Important to eliminate distractions while you are setting apart time for this task.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Perfectionism ADD ADHD
Perfectionism
Perfect is an idea. In the day to day real world, perfection really doesn’t exist. Perfectionism is an unrealistic standard, even with reasonable time and resources available, that is impossible to achieve. We will work today to change our thought processes. What is good enough? What are important tasks for your values? What do you see as the new perfect?
We defined perfection in an early blog entry as working to get things to the impossible level of perfect rather than getting things done or getting things done well enough. We must define well enough. Well enough is the standard when time, energy and money are brought into the focus. Only you will be able to tell the importance or relevance of a task in concordance with your values. Your coach can help you along the path but ultimately you must change your thinking to decide what is done and done well enough.
Let’s look at two examples of perfectionism at work and see if at the end of this posting we can achieve a change in our thought processes when looking at daunting tasks.
Example 1: Garage Scenario
A gorgeous fall weekend is coming up and you decide to tackle your garage. Your garage has been in disarray for over a year now. You can’t park your cars in the garage, let alone find anything in the chaos reigning in your garage. You have decided that you are going to take this Saturday to complete the project and have the perfect garage. As Saturday approaches, you are finding all kinds of reasons to procrastinate doing this project. Not because you are unable or unwilling, but because you have this idea of perfection and it’s daunting when you look at a year’s worth of items in the garage. As you complain to your coach, he asks you, what happens if it’s not perfect? Nothing. What happens if you only make a dent in the project this weekend? Nothing. So what if we change your goals. What if you work for 15 minutes a day for the next two weeks tackling one portion of the garage at a time? You start in the left corner and set a timer for 15 minutes. When your time is up, you are done for the day. I bet in one week you will see a difference.
Example 2: Resume Scenario
You are looking for a new job. The thought of composing your resume makes you shake and break out in a sweat. You feel you need to be perfect on paper so you can get the job. You continually put off compiling your resume facts because you are so distraught about being perfect. As you talk with your coach about this, he says let’s just brainstorm and write down the facts. Dates and companies you worked for in the past five years. In 20 minutes you have the beginning of your resume. Now a resume needs to be as close to perfect as you can get so you will need to spend some time on this project. All grammatical and spelling must be perfect to ensure you aren’t passed over because of a minor error. Your coach suggests you spend about two hours per day on this project and get some outside perspectives to ensure you are driving down the correct path. This will be a few week process.
Looking at both these scenarios, we see both extremes. Good enough for the garage may be incremental improvements however good enough for a resume is the error free target of perfectionism. Resume perfectionism is expected and needed in the world of business but in the garage example it is your level of perfectionism that counts. For most people getting the job they desire or need is more important than a clean garage, therefore rates higher in the energy and resources needed to complete.
So in essence, you are in charge of changing your thought processes. When you are in the midst of feeling perfectionism coming on, you can do an experiment. Notice the task you at hand and think of the resources you will need to achieve perfection at this task. Now think about your values and rank where this task falls in your values scale. Are you balancing your resources (time, energy and money) on the right tasks in line with your values? Remember in this juggling act there isn’t a “norm” or “perfect” balance for everyone. It all depends upon your values and resource allotment.
Perfect is an idea. In the day to day real world, perfection really doesn’t exist. Perfectionism is an unrealistic standard, even with reasonable time and resources available, that is impossible to achieve. We will work today to change our thought processes. What is good enough? What are important tasks for your values? What do you see as the new perfect?
We defined perfection in an early blog entry as working to get things to the impossible level of perfect rather than getting things done or getting things done well enough. We must define well enough. Well enough is the standard when time, energy and money are brought into the focus. Only you will be able to tell the importance or relevance of a task in concordance with your values. Your coach can help you along the path but ultimately you must change your thinking to decide what is done and done well enough.
Let’s look at two examples of perfectionism at work and see if at the end of this posting we can achieve a change in our thought processes when looking at daunting tasks.
Example 1: Garage Scenario
A gorgeous fall weekend is coming up and you decide to tackle your garage. Your garage has been in disarray for over a year now. You can’t park your cars in the garage, let alone find anything in the chaos reigning in your garage. You have decided that you are going to take this Saturday to complete the project and have the perfect garage. As Saturday approaches, you are finding all kinds of reasons to procrastinate doing this project. Not because you are unable or unwilling, but because you have this idea of perfection and it’s daunting when you look at a year’s worth of items in the garage. As you complain to your coach, he asks you, what happens if it’s not perfect? Nothing. What happens if you only make a dent in the project this weekend? Nothing. So what if we change your goals. What if you work for 15 minutes a day for the next two weeks tackling one portion of the garage at a time? You start in the left corner and set a timer for 15 minutes. When your time is up, you are done for the day. I bet in one week you will see a difference.
Example 2: Resume Scenario
You are looking for a new job. The thought of composing your resume makes you shake and break out in a sweat. You feel you need to be perfect on paper so you can get the job. You continually put off compiling your resume facts because you are so distraught about being perfect. As you talk with your coach about this, he says let’s just brainstorm and write down the facts. Dates and companies you worked for in the past five years. In 20 minutes you have the beginning of your resume. Now a resume needs to be as close to perfect as you can get so you will need to spend some time on this project. All grammatical and spelling must be perfect to ensure you aren’t passed over because of a minor error. Your coach suggests you spend about two hours per day on this project and get some outside perspectives to ensure you are driving down the correct path. This will be a few week process.
Looking at both these scenarios, we see both extremes. Good enough for the garage may be incremental improvements however good enough for a resume is the error free target of perfectionism. Resume perfectionism is expected and needed in the world of business but in the garage example it is your level of perfectionism that counts. For most people getting the job they desire or need is more important than a clean garage, therefore rates higher in the energy and resources needed to complete.
So in essence, you are in charge of changing your thought processes. When you are in the midst of feeling perfectionism coming on, you can do an experiment. Notice the task you at hand and think of the resources you will need to achieve perfection at this task. Now think about your values and rank where this task falls in your values scale. Are you balancing your resources (time, energy and money) on the right tasks in line with your values? Remember in this juggling act there isn’t a “norm” or “perfect” balance for everyone. It all depends upon your values and resource allotment.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
We live in a world where information is vast and often may seem infinite. The challenge is how to find it when you need it and how to organize it so you can retrieve it quickly and easily when you need it. You can download, upload, share or create anything. The question is do you know how to retrieve this information quickly and when you need it?
There are two basic forms of information, hard copy and soft copy. Hard copy is the information that is physically in hand; magazine articles, print outs, presentations etc. Soft copy is the information that is digital; shared files, internet etc. We must work to find a filing system that will help you to sort information in both forms. It can make things a lot simpler and easier if you use the same large categories, systems and strategies for both your hard copy filing systems and your hard copy filing systems.
We have found the easiest way is start with major categories and then introduce minor categories. For instance the broad categories could be Administration, Operations, Marketing and Finance/Accounting. Now depending on where you are in life, your minor categories could vary.
· Administration- organizational aspects
· Operations-scheduling and deadline aspects
· Marketing –promoting yourself or your business
· Finance/Accounting – tracking of money
There are two key elements to your filing system; using the same categories and visual stimulation system throughout both your hard copy and digital filing systems. We recommend color coding for each of the categories; administration in blue, operations in yellow, marketing in red and finance in green. Every subcategory is put in a folder of that same color. You can even color code your file folders online by changing the font color to match. This way you are always working with the same colors and categories. The set up may be time extensive so you may want to employ a friend or coach to help you get started with this process.
Once you get started with the filing system that works for you, you will be encouraged by the time and energy you save when locating information.
There are two basic forms of information, hard copy and soft copy. Hard copy is the information that is physically in hand; magazine articles, print outs, presentations etc. Soft copy is the information that is digital; shared files, internet etc. We must work to find a filing system that will help you to sort information in both forms. It can make things a lot simpler and easier if you use the same large categories, systems and strategies for both your hard copy filing systems and your hard copy filing systems.
We have found the easiest way is start with major categories and then introduce minor categories. For instance the broad categories could be Administration, Operations, Marketing and Finance/Accounting. Now depending on where you are in life, your minor categories could vary.
| Life Situation | Administration | Operations | Marketing | Finance/Accounting |
| Home | Home insurance, warranties, household goods | Maintenance schedules for home and car, family member schedules, shopping lists | Resumes, Employment information, Life Purpose/Mission | Taxes, Licenses, Bills |
| Business | Office Equipment, Office Management | Forms and Policies, Structures and Procedures, Deadlines | Advertising, Web 2.0 | Budgets, P&L, Bills |
| School | Clubs, Sports, Sororities, Hobbies, Contact Lists | Class schedules, Exam dates, d/w/m schedules | Transcripts, Portfolio, Job Applications, Resumes, Career Coaches, Networking | Parking Permits, Student Loans, Grants, Banking information, Bill |
· Administration- organizational aspects
· Operations-scheduling and deadline aspects
· Marketing –promoting yourself or your business
· Finance/Accounting – tracking of money
There are two key elements to your filing system; using the same categories and visual stimulation system throughout both your hard copy and digital filing systems. We recommend color coding for each of the categories; administration in blue, operations in yellow, marketing in red and finance in green. Every subcategory is put in a folder of that same color. You can even color code your file folders online by changing the font color to match. This way you are always working with the same colors and categories. The set up may be time extensive so you may want to employ a friend or coach to help you get started with this process.
Once you get started with the filing system that works for you, you will be encouraged by the time and energy you save when locating information.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Managing Stuff Challenges of ADD and ADHD
The accumulation of stuff happens like breathing. As we live, stuff seems to accumulate in our offices, homes, dorm rooms and we have the daunting task of figuring out what to do with all this stuff. We have papers, pens, folders, magazines, books, tests, notes, quizzes, contacts; and the list goes on and on.
It is common to have a filing system in place for about 80% of all this stuff where we are likely to remember where it is and have an easy time of retrieving this information. It is the last 20% that often bog us down and distract us from the tasks at hand. Often it is nice to have a trusted person or coach, who will help with this part of the process. This unbiased outside opinion can help with deciphering your needs and thought processes.
We have found many methods that work in filing systems from index filing and labeling to color coding. In my experience I have found that I utilize a few techniques to maintain my filing systems. First I have a color coding system where red is for clients, yellow is for office stuff, blue is for household stuff and so forth. I have typed a list for the outside of the filing cabinets that is also color coded and lists the file names. This way we can quickly scan the lists to see what file drawer we need to go into for the information needed. Also with the color coding on the lists, it is a subtle reminder for our filing system and the colors used.
This system has worked well however I am constantly tweakin g the system and moving items to where they are more efficiently found. For example, all electronics come with a disc and an owner’s manual. There are three files that these would fall under; electronics, office and household goods. Originally we put these items in the household goods file folder. As we needed the information, we found that we were looking in the electronics folder first so we moved the information. Now we find our information in the first folder making our search much more efficient.
The final responsibility of the trusted person/coach is to ensure that we aren’t keeping items that are unnecessary and bogging down our lives. This person needs to understand your threshold for change and discarding items prior to making recommendations. Some coaches would be able to assist with this process.
To set up this system make take some initial investment of time and money however in the long run you will save time and money through efficiency of finding needed information. The accumulation of stuff happens like breathing. As we live, stuff seems to accumulate in our offices, homes, dorm rooms and we have the daunting task of figuring out what to do with all this stuff. We have papers, pens, folders, magazines, books, tests, notes, quizzes, contacts; and the list goes on and on.
It is common to have a filing system in place for about 80% of all this stuff where we are likely to remember where it is and have an easy time of retrieving this information. It is the last 20% that often bog us down and distract us from the tasks at hand. Often it is nice to have a trusted person or coach, who will help with this part of the process. This unbiased outside opinion can help with deciphering your needs and thought processes.
We have found many methods that work in filing systems from index filing and labeling to color coding. In my experience I have found that I utilize a few techniques to maintain my filing systems. First I have a color coding system where red is for clients, yellow is for office stuff, blue is for household stuff and so forth. I have typed a list for the outside of the filing cabinets that is also color coded and lists the file names. This way we can quickly scan the lists to see what file drawer we need to go into for the information needed. Also with the color coding on the lists, it is a subtle reminder for our filing system and the colors used.
This system has worked well however I am constantly tweakin g the system and moving items to where they are more efficiently found. For example, all electronics come with a disc and an owner’s manual. There are three files that these would fall under; electronics, office and household goods. Originally we put these items in the household goods file folder. As we needed the information, we found that we were looking in the electronics folder first so we moved the information. Now we find our information in the first folder making our search much more efficient.
The final responsibility of the trusted person/coach is to ensure that we aren’t keeping items that are unnecessary and bogging down our lives. This person needs to understand your threshold for change and discarding items prior to making recommendations. Some coaches would be able to assist with this process.
To set up this system make take some initial investment of time and money however in the long run you will save time and money through efficiency of finding needed information. The accumulation of stuff happens like breathing. As we live, stuff seems to accumulate in our offices, homes, dorm rooms and we have the daunting task of figuring out what to do with all this stuff. We have papers, pens, folders, magazines, books, tests, notes, quizzes, contacts; and the list goes on and on.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Common Challenge # 5 - Project Completion
Common Challenge #5 – Project Completion
Let’s go on an interactive journey together. You will need to have a few pieces of paper, a couple of writing instruments preferably in different colors and time to think about projects. Let’s talk completing a project.
We have all completed projects. Projects come in all shapes and sizes; from cleaning your room to presenting your idea in a board meeting. Now bring to mind your most recent completed project, using a different color writing instrument answer each of these sections of questions regarding this project.
As you recreate your processes, notice what type of encouragement you received along the way. Did your friends and family keep you going through process? Was it co-workers or mentors that encouraged you? Did you encourage yourself?
Now let’s notice the work space where you completed your project. Was it clean and tidy? Was it small or large? Did you have all the tools to complete your project within a place that made sense to you?
Lastly let’s notice the time constraints it took to complete your project. Did you set aside 15 minute intervals? Did you spend one full weekend completing the task? Did you set up meetings with others to work on certain aspects of the project? Did you record the project in your day planner?
Once you have looked at your answers, you can start to determine your work habits. Every single person is different in how they will succeed in completing a project. Take a moment and re-read how you successfully have worked in the past. One of the keys to success is to create the atmosphere where you will succeed.
Let’s look at our Big Goal study from April 24th entry on Challenge #3. The goal was “I want to read for an hour a day for five (5) days per week starting tomorrow and continuing for three months.” We didn’t look at our previous habits. Now, we should define the work space and how to stay encouraged along the way. Where will the reading be done? Is it the library at a desk or in a comfy chair with hot tea? Can you read sitting upright or do you need to be more relaxed to absorb what you are reading? Let’s suppose from the exercise above you determined that you need a quiet place with no distractions so you set up a nice chair in a corner of your home to read for your one hour.
Also from the above exercise, you may have determined that you need to have a weekly check up on your progress but this person needs to be impartial to you. To complete your big goal, you decide you need to hire a coach for a weekly check up and assessment of the goal. Your coach will encourage you through the process and help you reassess your progress on the project. This will help to keep you accountable to completing the project on time. Now, you have the analysis to create an atmosphere that will encourage success on your projects in the future. You have evaluated what makes for a successful completion of a project and know how to attain the correct tricks and tools to aide you along the path.
Let’s go on an interactive journey together. You will need to have a few pieces of paper, a couple of writing instruments preferably in different colors and time to think about projects. Let’s talk completing a project.
We have all completed projects. Projects come in all shapes and sizes; from cleaning your room to presenting your idea in a board meeting. Now bring to mind your most recent completed project, using a different color writing instrument answer each of these sections of questions regarding this project.
As you recreate your processes, notice what type of encouragement you received along the way. Did your friends and family keep you going through process? Was it co-workers or mentors that encouraged you? Did you encourage yourself?
Now let’s notice the work space where you completed your project. Was it clean and tidy? Was it small or large? Did you have all the tools to complete your project within a place that made sense to you?
Lastly let’s notice the time constraints it took to complete your project. Did you set aside 15 minute intervals? Did you spend one full weekend completing the task? Did you set up meetings with others to work on certain aspects of the project? Did you record the project in your day planner?
Once you have looked at your answers, you can start to determine your work habits. Every single person is different in how they will succeed in completing a project. Take a moment and re-read how you successfully have worked in the past. One of the keys to success is to create the atmosphere where you will succeed.
Let’s look at our Big Goal study from April 24th entry on Challenge #3. The goal was “I want to read for an hour a day for five (5) days per week starting tomorrow and continuing for three months.” We didn’t look at our previous habits. Now, we should define the work space and how to stay encouraged along the way. Where will the reading be done? Is it the library at a desk or in a comfy chair with hot tea? Can you read sitting upright or do you need to be more relaxed to absorb what you are reading? Let’s suppose from the exercise above you determined that you need a quiet place with no distractions so you set up a nice chair in a corner of your home to read for your one hour.
Also from the above exercise, you may have determined that you need to have a weekly check up on your progress but this person needs to be impartial to you. To complete your big goal, you decide you need to hire a coach for a weekly check up and assessment of the goal. Your coach will encourage you through the process and help you reassess your progress on the project. This will help to keep you accountable to completing the project on time. Now, you have the analysis to create an atmosphere that will encourage success on your projects in the future. You have evaluated what makes for a successful completion of a project and know how to attain the correct tricks and tools to aide you along the path.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Time Planning and Management
Time is elusive and if you have ADD tendencies, you may find many miscommunications relating back to time management. Everything from over committing to remembering is a challenge for those with ADD/ADHD. Sometimes deadlines are missed, co workers or friends are disappointed and we tend to get down on ourselves if we can’t find a fix for time management.
Through my coaching career, I have found that taking the time to find the correct time management plan is worth the effort. There is a myriad of planners to choose from and it all comes down to what will work for you. As you are shopping, look at color, style, pattern, size. You may ask; do I plan daily, weekly or monthly? You may ask, are the appointment spaces large enough to write in? Do I want to type and use a virtual calendar? Does anyone else need to have access to my calendar? Essentially what you are doing is trying to strike a balance between ease and effectiveness of your day planner.
Once you have determined what will work best for you. The work begins; the allotment of time or time management. Every day has a finite amount of time and every person has, what seems like, an infinite amount of tasks to complete. Do you ever feel like your “to do” list never ends?
Your day planner will help you organize your tasks so that all the balls you are throwing in the air are completed. Think of your day planner as your safety net for life, it will catch the balls you are throwing so that none land on the ground. As tasks begin to come in, you and your coach will analyze the deadline, the time needed to complete the task and the time you have available to do this. Sometimes you may find that you need to allot more time on either side of a project for unexpected interruptions in your day. You will record your time in your day planner. As you get more comfortable with your planner, you will be able to do this analysis yourself and continually, throughout the day, place tasks in specific appointment times. This technique will help you to meet your deadlines and keep yourself from over committing. It will force you to make choices about what is most important on a daily basis. Because of the finite number of hours available, one must choose what is most important for us to spend our time on. Finally the action of recording tasks on the calendar will help you to remember your projects.
At the end of each week, you and your coach will be able to track what is important to you and what is continually moving. You will have the tools necessary to figure out what needs delegation and what you have passion to complete.
Ultimately, you will be completing projects by their deadlines and have time to allocate to what truly inspires you. A key to time management is assigning a day and time to do everything instead of having the never ending to do list.
Through my coaching career, I have found that taking the time to find the correct time management plan is worth the effort. There is a myriad of planners to choose from and it all comes down to what will work for you. As you are shopping, look at color, style, pattern, size. You may ask; do I plan daily, weekly or monthly? You may ask, are the appointment spaces large enough to write in? Do I want to type and use a virtual calendar? Does anyone else need to have access to my calendar? Essentially what you are doing is trying to strike a balance between ease and effectiveness of your day planner.
Once you have determined what will work best for you. The work begins; the allotment of time or time management. Every day has a finite amount of time and every person has, what seems like, an infinite amount of tasks to complete. Do you ever feel like your “to do” list never ends?
Your day planner will help you organize your tasks so that all the balls you are throwing in the air are completed. Think of your day planner as your safety net for life, it will catch the balls you are throwing so that none land on the ground. As tasks begin to come in, you and your coach will analyze the deadline, the time needed to complete the task and the time you have available to do this. Sometimes you may find that you need to allot more time on either side of a project for unexpected interruptions in your day. You will record your time in your day planner. As you get more comfortable with your planner, you will be able to do this analysis yourself and continually, throughout the day, place tasks in specific appointment times. This technique will help you to meet your deadlines and keep yourself from over committing. It will force you to make choices about what is most important on a daily basis. Because of the finite number of hours available, one must choose what is most important for us to spend our time on. Finally the action of recording tasks on the calendar will help you to remember your projects.
At the end of each week, you and your coach will be able to track what is important to you and what is continually moving. You will have the tools necessary to figure out what needs delegation and what you have passion to complete.
Ultimately, you will be completing projects by their deadlines and have time to allocate to what truly inspires you. A key to time management is assigning a day and time to do everything instead of having the never ending to do list.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Values 3 The Big Goal
When talking about the Big Goal we must first define that goal. It is a dream or goal that feels big to the dreamer. Everything begins with a wish or dream and we turn it into a goal. There is an Art and Science to setting and achieving Big Goals.
First the Science, I like to use the S.M.A.R.T. Goal approach to turn your dreams into goals. S.M.A.R.T. is the foundation for goal setting in that it creates the steps you need to take to define and achieve your goals.
For example, let’s say that your big goal is to read more books. In this statement you have a dream. We want to turn this dream into a goal so we get more specific. I want to read for an hour a day for five (5) days per week. Now we need to exam this statement utilizing the S.M.A.R.T. goal setting technique. We made it specific. It’s measureable as one hour per day. We know others have done this so it is achievable. We know you can read so it is realistic. We need to set a time frame. Let’s say you want to do this for three months starting tomorrow. So we add that to the goal statement. I want to read for an hour a day for five (5) days per week starting tomorrow and continuing for three months. We have just defined our Big Goal.
Secondly, the Art portion is the achieving the Big Goal. The art is in the flexibility needed to achieve the goals when life happens. On a daily basis we must revise and evaluate how life’s interruptions are affecting our pursuit of the Big Goal. As part of the strategy to ensure success, we set the plan to achieve the goal and we set a backup plan. We also will set a strategy to keep the goal at the forefront of our thinking.
For example, using the statement above, we decided in week 1 of our test to read from 5 – 6 pm Monday – Friday as soon as we got home from work. If something comes up after work, then we will read from 10:30 – 11:30 before our normal bedtime of midnight. We put these time frames in our day planner so we are reminded of the goal. During the week we will notice how much we are reading, when and how focused we are during our sessions. We can record our thoughts in our daily planners. At the end of the week we will evaluate to see if adjustments need to be made to succeed in our goal.
We have a few steps to the Big Goal value; setting the goal, daily maintenance and noticing, evaluating the success and succeeding. The biggest secret in achieving a Big Goal is breaking it down into small parts, planning on, deciding and preparing for the work needed to succeed.
First the Science, I like to use the S.M.A.R.T. Goal approach to turn your dreams into goals. S.M.A.R.T. is the foundation for goal setting in that it creates the steps you need to take to define and achieve your goals.
S is for SPECIFIC. We turn your dream into a specific statement.
M is for MEASURABLE. The statement created must be measureable usually either in time or units
A is for ACHIEVABLE. The question to ask is have others achieved your statement or are they in process of achieving your statement.
R is for REALISTIC. With your life, do you have the time, energy and patience to complete the dream? Do you have the skills necessary or do we modify the statement to acquire the necessary skills?
T is for TIME. Set a specific time frame for accomplishing your goal. When do you want to reevaluate your goal statement?
For example, let’s say that your big goal is to read more books. In this statement you have a dream. We want to turn this dream into a goal so we get more specific. I want to read for an hour a day for five (5) days per week. Now we need to exam this statement utilizing the S.M.A.R.T. goal setting technique. We made it specific. It’s measureable as one hour per day. We know others have done this so it is achievable. We know you can read so it is realistic. We need to set a time frame. Let’s say you want to do this for three months starting tomorrow. So we add that to the goal statement. I want to read for an hour a day for five (5) days per week starting tomorrow and continuing for three months. We have just defined our Big Goal.
Secondly, the Art portion is the achieving the Big Goal. The art is in the flexibility needed to achieve the goals when life happens. On a daily basis we must revise and evaluate how life’s interruptions are affecting our pursuit of the Big Goal. As part of the strategy to ensure success, we set the plan to achieve the goal and we set a backup plan. We also will set a strategy to keep the goal at the forefront of our thinking.
For example, using the statement above, we decided in week 1 of our test to read from 5 – 6 pm Monday – Friday as soon as we got home from work. If something comes up after work, then we will read from 10:30 – 11:30 before our normal bedtime of midnight. We put these time frames in our day planner so we are reminded of the goal. During the week we will notice how much we are reading, when and how focused we are during our sessions. We can record our thoughts in our daily planners. At the end of the week we will evaluate to see if adjustments need to be made to succeed in our goal.
We have a few steps to the Big Goal value; setting the goal, daily maintenance and noticing, evaluating the success and succeeding. The biggest secret in achieving a Big Goal is breaking it down into small parts, planning on, deciding and preparing for the work needed to succeed.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Value #2 Inner Motivation
To understand Inner Motivation one should start by understanding the different types of motivations. The top five (5) motivations are:
Utilitarian – meaning one prefers some practical or useful results to come from ones efforts, time, energy or money. People with this value are results oriented sometimes towards money, more productivity or better health. When people with high Utilitarian value volunteer, they want to see practical results to their efforts.
Altruism – someone who values service to others to benefit a certain person, group of people or cause. People with Altruism value want to see that their efforts are used for the good of others.
Aesthetics - can be a beautiful architectural design, art in general or noticing beauty in simplicity of elegance. People with Ascetics high on their values list; see the beauty and interconnectedness to life and its rhythm. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder so for a mathematician this could be a theorem or equation while for an artist it could be colors and textures.
Tradition – value of families and connecting through families. This could be around holidays, religious tradition (ceremonies, holidays, and rites). Usually it is not related to liberal or conservative but more about continuity.
Theoretical – value of understanding how things work, why they are the way they are. Usually people with high theoretical follow science, chemistry, biology or religious activities understanding how and why life all fits together.
The next step is to understand how one ranks these values and how specifically they show up for you. Most people need to take an assessment to rank their values. This will help one to understand more deeply and quickly how they show up in your life. This assessment will help you to understand how to spend your time, energy and money to align with your values.
Utilitarian – meaning one prefers some practical or useful results to come from ones efforts, time, energy or money. People with this value are results oriented sometimes towards money, more productivity or better health. When people with high Utilitarian value volunteer, they want to see practical results to their efforts.
Altruism – someone who values service to others to benefit a certain person, group of people or cause. People with Altruism value want to see that their efforts are used for the good of others.
Aesthetics - can be a beautiful architectural design, art in general or noticing beauty in simplicity of elegance. People with Ascetics high on their values list; see the beauty and interconnectedness to life and its rhythm. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder so for a mathematician this could be a theorem or equation while for an artist it could be colors and textures.
Tradition – value of families and connecting through families. This could be around holidays, religious tradition (ceremonies, holidays, and rites). Usually it is not related to liberal or conservative but more about continuity.
Theoretical – value of understanding how things work, why they are the way they are. Usually people with high theoretical follow science, chemistry, biology or religious activities understanding how and why life all fits together.
The next step is to understand how one ranks these values and how specifically they show up for you. Most people need to take an assessment to rank their values. This will help one to understand more deeply and quickly how they show up in your life. This assessment will help you to understand how to spend your time, energy and money to align with your values.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Common ADD Struggle #1 – Values
Common ADD Struggle #1 – Values
There is a common misperception about values. ADD or not our world believes values are something that we chose or decide upon through life. There are theories that our deepest values are inherent, we are born with them and they are part of our soul. While it is hard for everyone to keep their values foremost in their minds, for someone with ADD it is 10 times harder to keep focused on ones values while making decisions. That is because those with ADD tend to notice many more possible values of which to consider.
It is a constant struggle for those with ADD to keep their values constantly present. I was recently asked what do you do to get these values first and foremost in a client’s mind. While there isn’t an answer that is constant for all, there are processes we can go through to help.
It begins with soul searching, noticing behaviors and getting feedback from friends and family. From there, it is advised to have guidance from a few sources to work through discovering your individual values. There are assessment tools used in the discovery phase followed by reflection of how your life’s energy is used in relation to the values discovered and finally integrating these values into your day to day life. Through constant thought processes, each individual along with their trusted advisors, can turn values thinking into a habit that will enhance your skills and awareness levels.
While this is a complex topic and each individual is unique, if you have a curious and provocative coach guiding you through discovery you will find a values based life awaits.
There is a common misperception about values. ADD or not our world believes values are something that we chose or decide upon through life. There are theories that our deepest values are inherent, we are born with them and they are part of our soul. While it is hard for everyone to keep their values foremost in their minds, for someone with ADD it is 10 times harder to keep focused on ones values while making decisions. That is because those with ADD tend to notice many more possible values of which to consider.
It is a constant struggle for those with ADD to keep their values constantly present. I was recently asked what do you do to get these values first and foremost in a client’s mind. While there isn’t an answer that is constant for all, there are processes we can go through to help.
It begins with soul searching, noticing behaviors and getting feedback from friends and family. From there, it is advised to have guidance from a few sources to work through discovering your individual values. There are assessment tools used in the discovery phase followed by reflection of how your life’s energy is used in relation to the values discovered and finally integrating these values into your day to day life. Through constant thought processes, each individual along with their trusted advisors, can turn values thinking into a habit that will enhance your skills and awareness levels.
While this is a complex topic and each individual is unique, if you have a curious and provocative coach guiding you through discovery you will find a values based life awaits.
Friday, March 13, 2009
12 Common ADD Challenges
After over a decade of coaching ADD/ADHD clients, I have found 12 challenges to be the most common.
1. Values - Lack of clarity to what is important and how to connect those values to choices about work, friendships, relationships, education and other parts of life.
2. Inner Motivation - Lack of understanding of what really motivates oneself.
3. The Big Goal(s) - Keeping the focus of the big goals in place on a daily basis.
4. Time -Remembering appointments and deadlines.
5. Project Completion - Challenges ending or starting tasks.
6. Stuff - Clients are buried in piles of papers, books, files, tools or other items.
7. Information- Clients may be trying to track too much information.
8. Social Cues and Social Skills -talking too much, interrupting, saying inappropriate things, etc
9. Perfectionism - Working to get things to the impossible level of perfect, rather than getting things done or getting things done well enough.
10. Getting Started - Blocking points that can occur from sequencing to knowledge that hinder the start of a project.
11. Transitions -Include the stages between stopping one task and starting another.
12. Impulsiveness - Making effective choices despite impulsivity.
It is important for us to remember that just as we would not tell someone who requires glasses to see properly, to just put away the glasses and try harder. We should not to expect someone with an invisible disability to "try harder" on tasks. I have laid out these tasks because often it is what the world sees as the "simple" stuff that gets in the way of individuals with ADHD keeping them from having full, satisfying lives. Over the next few months we will take some time on each of these 12 challenges, diving a little deeper in each round of blog entries. I hope you can come along on this journey.
Coach Robb
1. Values - Lack of clarity to what is important and how to connect those values to choices about work, friendships, relationships, education and other parts of life.
2. Inner Motivation - Lack of understanding of what really motivates oneself.
3. The Big Goal(s) - Keeping the focus of the big goals in place on a daily basis.
4. Time -Remembering appointments and deadlines.
5. Project Completion - Challenges ending or starting tasks.
6. Stuff - Clients are buried in piles of papers, books, files, tools or other items.
7. Information- Clients may be trying to track too much information.
8. Social Cues and Social Skills -talking too much, interrupting, saying inappropriate things, etc
9. Perfectionism - Working to get things to the impossible level of perfect, rather than getting things done or getting things done well enough.
10. Getting Started - Blocking points that can occur from sequencing to knowledge that hinder the start of a project.
11. Transitions -Include the stages between stopping one task and starting another.
12. Impulsiveness - Making effective choices despite impulsivity.
It is important for us to remember that just as we would not tell someone who requires glasses to see properly, to just put away the glasses and try harder. We should not to expect someone with an invisible disability to "try harder" on tasks. I have laid out these tasks because often it is what the world sees as the "simple" stuff that gets in the way of individuals with ADHD keeping them from having full, satisfying lives. Over the next few months we will take some time on each of these 12 challenges, diving a little deeper in each round of blog entries. I hope you can come along on this journey.
Coach Robb
Friday, March 6, 2009
Willingness to Think Differently
As much as parents want to do what is “right” for their children, there is one key ingredient to successful coaching for anyone. The client needs to have a willingness to try something different. This is a key element to create a satisfying and effective life. At times teens show up with this attitude or they can develop it after trust is established in the coaching relationship.
As an ADD coach, I have experienced many parents calling me to explain situations where their child can’t get their homework done, has trouble focusing and/or retaining information. Their studies are falling behind. Sometimes the parent may want to know if I can help; how long will it take. In coaching, the teen would be the one who determines the teen’s goals, and what the agenda of the coaching will be. That is one of the most powerful things about coaching, the client drives the agenda.
First and foremost a client needs to develop a true mindset of change so they can achieve their dreams. In the world of ADD, there must be a restored sense of self esteem and a grounded sense of confidence that is created over time. This confidence builds as the client takes on more, possibly larger, tasks and creates a history of successful learning. Every client is different so the plan developed is unique. It is this co-creation between client and coach that will lead to success.
As an ADD coach, I have experienced many parents calling me to explain situations where their child can’t get their homework done, has trouble focusing and/or retaining information. Their studies are falling behind. Sometimes the parent may want to know if I can help; how long will it take. In coaching, the teen would be the one who determines the teen’s goals, and what the agenda of the coaching will be. That is one of the most powerful things about coaching, the client drives the agenda.
First and foremost a client needs to develop a true mindset of change so they can achieve their dreams. In the world of ADD, there must be a restored sense of self esteem and a grounded sense of confidence that is created over time. This confidence builds as the client takes on more, possibly larger, tasks and creates a history of successful learning. Every client is different so the plan developed is unique. It is this co-creation between client and coach that will lead to success.
Friday, February 27, 2009
ADD and the Traffic Cop
I have a traffic cop analogy for defining ADD/ADHD and how coaching will help you.
When I think about ADD/ADHD, I sometimes think about a traffic cop directing traffic at an intersection. He is telling the cars exactly where to go. As long as the drivers pay attention to him, everything moves along efficiently. Now imagine if the traffic cop directs traffic in the wrong direction, too fast or too slowly. This intersection becomes a snarled mess and we have gridlock. This is what happens in the mind of someone with ADD/ADHD. Their thoughts are moving at light speed through their minds and without direction sometimes they get jumbled. It is a random jumbling of thoughts therefore harder to regain efficiencies.
Here is where coaching comes into play. A coach helps individuals to install traffic lights which will help to automate the traffic patterns. This frees up the traffic cop to focus on other items. A coach will help the traffic cop do better more consistently. However, more importantly it will help identify where the traffic light will take the place of the traffic cop so it’s more automatic. The traffic cop will monitor bigger things while the traffic light will monitor the details automatically.
Thanks and I hope you will come along this journey of learning about ADD and how coaching will help you or your loved ones enjoy a fulfilling life.
When I think about ADD/ADHD, I sometimes think about a traffic cop directing traffic at an intersection. He is telling the cars exactly where to go. As long as the drivers pay attention to him, everything moves along efficiently. Now imagine if the traffic cop directs traffic in the wrong direction, too fast or too slowly. This intersection becomes a snarled mess and we have gridlock. This is what happens in the mind of someone with ADD/ADHD. Their thoughts are moving at light speed through their minds and without direction sometimes they get jumbled. It is a random jumbling of thoughts therefore harder to regain efficiencies.
Here is where coaching comes into play. A coach helps individuals to install traffic lights which will help to automate the traffic patterns. This frees up the traffic cop to focus on other items. A coach will help the traffic cop do better more consistently. However, more importantly it will help identify where the traffic light will take the place of the traffic cop so it’s more automatic. The traffic cop will monitor bigger things while the traffic light will monitor the details automatically.
Thanks and I hope you will come along this journey of learning about ADD and how coaching will help you or your loved ones enjoy a fulfilling life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)